Hello my name is Katie, I am currently 22 and I am just about to finish my Bachelors Degree in Early Childhood/ Special Education.  I start my student teaching this Fall, and to be quite honest I am feeling all sorts of emotions: terrified, excited, worried, and nervous.  I have always been an A and B student. I took 6 classes every semester, worked three jobs, and supported my family when they needed it.  I didn't grow up rich nor extremely poor.  I have always prided myself as a hard worker, diligent, and an honest person.  Everything I have today, I have because I worked for it. So you are probably wondering why I am writing this blog......

I am writing this blog in hopes that it will help me through student teaching and give me back the confidence that I once knew.  

I lost my confidence in the Fall of 2013, when I had my SPED block.  My supervisor wasn't the kindest of people and really made me feel that I wasn't cut out for the teaching field even though every bone in my body at the time felt that I was.  I failed my SPED block and had to take the field experience over again in May 2014.  I completed my 1-4 Block in April of 2014 and earned an A+ 98% (the only reason why I didn't have a 100% was because I forgot to finish two daily journal entries.)  The next week, I started my SPED block again for the second time. My co-op was wonderful, but very busy. My first week there she still had a student teacher, so I only could teach one lesson. My second week there she was gone for meetings and training. My third week was the same and the schedule was always changing and my lesson plans were pushed back and my students were a hit and miss.  I understand that it was the end of the year and teachers were getting last minutes done and field trips were a huge factor.  My forth week my teacher left for a conference and I was with a sub AGAIN. 

So here is my problem...... Both SPED experiences were okay but I didn't learn as much as I wanted besides there is a lot of work in Special education and I am not talking about dealing with the students.  All the paper work and meetings just take time away from the students.  

I am worried that I don't have enough tools in my tool bag to earn an A in my SPED student teaching portion.  Every one says that student teaching is totally different from BLOCK, but how much different and will I survive???????

Then, after student teaching will I find a job, or will I have to take a different road and leave a footprint on the road of being a teacher?  All of these questions and fears keep me at edge and  I feel like I am coming to a fork in the road and I don't know which way to go. Teaching or becoming a nurse??????